I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
