My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
