glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
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Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
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Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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