chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
