Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
