the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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