My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
