They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
