FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
