Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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