just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
