Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
