Where is the hickey?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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