dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
