Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
