I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Randomize
