i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
