Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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