wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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