Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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