My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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