i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize