if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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