would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
