so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
