This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
