Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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