I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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