No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
