we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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