She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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