i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
