I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize