Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
