it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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