My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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