none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
it was like eating out sand paper
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
