Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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