I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
