i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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