I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Still dying that you shit outside
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
