she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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