So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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