I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
