So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I currently don't understand fingers.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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