it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I can feel your judgement through the phone
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
