Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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