Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
