is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im holly from the hills drunk
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize