dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
