I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i came on her dog
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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