Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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