"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
