Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
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Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
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Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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