At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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