We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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