Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I need a beard to bite.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
