Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize