While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
