i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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