I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
