This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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