He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
